Ok....so time to rant! What is wrong with us women???? We wake up and think 'hey, excuse me while I beat myself up for not being perfect'.
For me this morning's self loathing was about those extra few pounds that made me look like I was spilling out of my jeans. How dare I look like crap? Then there was the fuse that blew when my children argued with everything I asked or said when all I was trying to do is get them off to school warm, fed, clean and on time. How dare I lose my temper? Or how about the state of the house and the total disheartedness I felt when it took me so long to clean, only for them to come home and 1) to not notice how hard I worked and 2) to filthy the place up again! How dare my house get dirty?
Urgh...it felt like ground hog day! I was so fed up with it all, that while having coffee this morning with my trusty coffee buddies, I shed a tear or two - and this out of total frustration! Its good to have friends to talk to though. They always make you feel justified in your lows and also do a great job of making you stop being so hard on yourself!
Lucky for me I had a facial booked and after the facial I strolled into a sale and got myself a pair of jeans to see me through until those pounds are gone....slippery slope I know but the bargain softened the blow. That did cheer me up! It allowed me to take a step back and stop throwing punches at myself. I'm human, I'm not perfect and I can forgive myself.
How am I supposed to not pass these self destructive feelings onto my girls? How do I stop them from feeling so crap just because their clothes are a bit tight or because they weren't perfect in a certain situation? Its not easy! I'm going to keep telling them that no one is perfect and that trying to achieve perfection all the time is futile and soul destroying. Forgiveness goes a long way in life, especially forgiveness towards yourself. Taking a step back and doing something nice for yourself, like a facial, helps too. Be kind to yourself and get rid of the big bad bully inside your head!