A lot of my readers have been wondering where I've been. The truth is, I've been avoiding writing as a result of some ill intent people reading my blog and it's creeping me out! Initially I found it amusing, now I just find it annoying! Do they not realise that I can see who reads my blog? Anyway, a few well placed words from my true friends and here I am again not buying into my online stalkers' drama. So off with you-lot already!
So, where was I? Oh yes, well I'm busy, busy, busy....and what does that have to do with anything? Well let me tell you - as my life gets longer (39 years, 8 months and 27 days to be exact), my 24 hours a day feels more like 4 hours! Although not the most exciting of jobs, this stay at home Mum is constantly on the go and sometimes feels like a dog, running around in circles, chasing it's tail! Ugh!
The last few months have had me intensely disliking my role - being bored with it, toying with the idea of getting back into the work place and almost feeling unhappy. The other day while talking about where my life was going, a friend of mine said to me: 'pity you didn't do a degree'. Did I mention I LIVED with this friend for two years while in college? She of course corrected herself immediately and I laughed. But it does prove a point. This is how I am now perceived: the stay-at-home-mum with no qualifications. So, let me just set the record straight, for what its worth, I have BA (Hons) Business Information Management degree.
Anyway, as you can imagine, that kind of threw me over the edge into a mini mid-life crisis. Turning 40, with what seemed like a pathetic perception out there and not pursuing my passion just seemed wrong; but how can you pursue your passion when you are not entirely sure what that passion is?
I started to look into the prospect of getting back out into the workplace. The more I dug, the more I realised how complicated life would be for me and the rest of my family. I would end up worrying about my kids, that my home life would suffer as a result of my absence and that my husband wouldn't be able to entirely focus on his career as he too would have to pick up the slack resulting from my 'career' move. Then it dawned on me. I cared more about the consequences to family than I did about some job I went to, to break the monotony. I also realised that my 14 year old would still be in her old school, had I been working 3 months ago. The time and energy it took to put her in another school wouldn't have been available to me. I also realised that taking time off would have been difficult when my 7 year old had got tonsils out. And that we would never have gotten our little canine bundle of joy, as it just wouldn't have been fair to get a dog and leave him alone all day long. I wouldn't have been able to dedicate my full time energy to any of it. Then I started wondering what the future would hold for my family if they needed me and I was in work? I soon realised that my passion is in fact my family and that I am already pursuing my passion. What a result!
When I was a teenager, all I wanted was to have a stable home life, most likely due to the fact that I lacked one growing up. That is what I wished for, and that is what I got. How lucky am I? My daughters are well mannered, confident, intelligent, trustworthy, secure and healthy girls. My husband is loving, generous, considerate and a fantastic provider for our little family. As for me, I am happy to say that I am the backbone of our home life and very proud of it.
The point? Milestone's, such as turning 40 allow us to take stock and consider changes in our lives. It's an opportunity to evaluate where we are, who we surround ourselves with and how much we've achieved thus far. I'm glad of the opportunity and I'm happy to say that my life is as it should be, and that I am living my passion with passion.
Mini mid-life crisis over!
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